When someone in your life passes away, whether it’s a partner, close relative or friend, it is a longstanding tradition to have a memorial service for the deceased that celebrates their life and who they were. In the last few decades, cremation has become one of the most popular options instead of a traditional burial, and scattering ashes has become commonplace.
The scattering ashes ceremony is very solemn and offers a chance to reflect on the deceased and your own mortality and place in the world. As with other parts of funerals, many share some words or thoughts with those in attendance while the scattering occurs. If you are looking into the many options open, consider doing the same for the scattering ashes ceremony for your dearly departed. What, though, should you say?
Personal History or Anecdotes
One of the most common ideas is to have the personal history or select anecdotes about the deceased read while scattering ashes. Although they are ashes now, this is a great way to memorialise and remember who they were and their impact on those in their lives.
Poetry
If you struggle to find the right words to say what you mean or to help represent what all those in attendance feel about the dearly departed, you could look to poetry for help. After all, life has its beat and rhythm, and one great way to continue the beat and rhythm of the deceased’s heart and spirit is by reciting an appropriate poem. Perhaps they have a favourite that they had requested before they died. Don’t worry if they didn’t because these are some of the most famous poems for funerals, cremations and scattering ashes ceremonies.
You Will See Them Someday by Stephen Banks
This poem is a great selection for any grieving family member. Whether they are a grieving son, daughter, mother, dad, husband, or wife, the words help to give hope when everything feels hopeless: that you will eventually see the deceased once more and be reunited with them.
A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
A Psalm of Life by the celebrated American poet and writer Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is another excellent option for reading during a scattering ashes ceremony. It focuses on the impact the person had on your life, as evidenced in this stanza:
“The Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime and, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time.”
She’s in the Sun, the Wind, the Rain by Christy Ann Martine
As it can be challenging to say goodbye, this poem by Christy Ann Martine offers an excellent perspective that while they may have passed, their memory and presence are still there, around you.
The poem closes with the emotive and stirring line, “You’ll see her in the clouds above, hear her whispered words of love. You’ll be together before long. Until then, listen for her song.”
Scattering Ashes at Sea Poems
It has become famous for many people to choose to have their ashes scattered at sea. Whether your loved one has chosen this or was a lover of the sea or even had a sailing or fishing career, you may decide to scatter their ashes there. If you do, there are some poems that you can select to recite at the event.
The Full Sea by Willaim Ernest Henley
The beautiful poem The Full Sea by the poet William Ernest Henley is an obvious choice for scattering ashes at sea ceremonies. It vividly describes a picture of an individual preferring to be put to rest in the ever-moving, changing sea rather than on the static and unmovable earth.
No Man is an Island by John Donne
This famous poem emotes stunningly about the need for human beings to have other people in their lives, even when facing the end of their lives. It also describes the thoughts of being washed away into the sea.
Burial at Sea by John Companioote
First published by the poet John Companioote, Burial At Sea, as you may have guessed, describes being buried at sea and is moving while highlighting that life will find some normalcy and continue, even after they have passed. The opening lines are particularly stirring and powerful: “There will I lie, Forever with a moving element.”
Crossing the Bar by Alfred Lord Tennyson
A certified classic by the poet Alfred Lord Tennyson, Crossing the Bar is perfect for scattering ashes at sea ceremony as it discusses going out to sea to help the writer return home. These lines are compelling: “When I put out to sea, But such a tide as moving seems asleep, Too full for sound and foam, When that which drew from out the boundless deep, Turns again home.”
Appropriate and Powerful Quotes Full of Meaning
In addition to poetry or any music you may want to play or your words you wish to share, meaningful quotes can be a great way to say very little, with an even more significant impact. During grief, it may be easier to share some timely, emotive and even philosophical quotes when our emotions weigh the heaviest on us. Here are some of our favourites for scattering ashes ceremonies:
Even death…
Akini Flinthart wrote, “Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.” This quote comforts anyone grieving by suggesting that the dearly departed lived a worthwhile and brave life. At the same time, they were gone and faced countless situations and battles that only made them more challenging and better.
Every man’s life ends…
Ernest Hemingway was famed for his intellect and thoughts on humanity and life. He wrote, “Every man’s life ends the same way. Only the details of how he lived and how he died distinguish one man from another.” This is a very poignant note on how death is just a part of the whole life cycle; therefore, what we do while we are alive is essential.
Lives are like rivers.
Richard Russo said, “Lives are like rivers: Eventually, they go where they must. Now where we want them to.” In Russo’s quote, he eloquently highlights the inescapable truth of life and death, that when someone passes away, we need to accept their passing. By moving forward on your own, you can honour someone’s life that was lost.
To us, the ashes of our ancestors are sacred.
A poignant and powerful thought was conveyed in a quote by Chief Seattle: “To us, the ashes of our ancestors are sacred. And their resting place is hallowed ground.” This quote expressively describes how we come from our ancestors and where the deceased goes. The thought behind this quote is that you, as a friend, partner, or relative of the deceased, guide them from where they come from to where they are going when you participate in scattering their ashes.
Prayers You Can Say During the Scattering Ashes Service
If you or your dearly departed is religious, pray for all in attendance. For religious people, prayer is a solid connection to their spirituality and god. Among the most famous prayers you could say at the ceremony, ones often said at these events include Psalm 23, the Christian prayer of the dead and the Irish Funeral Prayer.
Tips to Help You Find the Right Words
Funerals and all associated ceremonies related to death, burials, cremations, and scattering ashes are often solemn events, and it can be challenging to think of the right things to say. Even if there are moments when silence can take over, and people can quietly and introspectively gather their thoughts, you will still need to speak during parts of the ashes-scattering ceremony. To help you, along with the parts we have already considered, here are some tips to remember.
Always consider their faith, or lack thereof, for the deceased and their family and friends.
It is essential, especially if you do not share the same beliefs or views as the deceased or maybe their family and friends, that you consider what death and life after death mean to them. Consider this when deciding what you will say, the prayers you might read and the poetry you might use.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Although it doesn’t matter so much if you give the most impressive reading or speech, you still want to make sure you can speak without going overboard. Therefore, practice your words, whether prayers, anecdotes, stories, poems, or something else.
This is also a great way to judge if it sounds fitting for the occasion when you read it out loud.
Listen to Others and Give them A Chance to Speak.
Don’t just make it all about yourself and your own feelings. If there is a small group of people, many different mourners will have a chance to share some words with the rest in attendance. Allow this chance to happen, and make sure you listen as attentively as you would expect them to do for you.
Do Everything From the Heart
Okay, so you may be using your own words sparingly and may have selected poems and quotes to represent what you are saying, but it is essential to make it come from your heart with sincerity. Remember, you will only have one chance to say what you want in the way you want to, so think carefully and let your real emotions come out.
Try to share positive and uplifting memories.
When people gather to celebrate and memorialise the life of someone who has passed, they will all have different experiences they shared with them. The best way to remember someone is by sharing positive, happy, uplifting anecdotes and stories about them. This will help those especially sad and find death hard to remember the good things.
So, if you intend to scatter ashes for a recently departed loved one, whether it’s a friend, partner or relative, we hope this guide helps you. You can approach the point in the ceremony in different ways, for instance by saying something like scattering ashes from a beautiful urn. Think about the person, what they meant to you and others, and the experience they had in life, what they endured, the good and the bad and what they believed. Doing that will help you find the right words. Remember, though, that it should always come straight from the heart.
